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2009: Michele Bachmann’s craziest, lying-ist and working-ist year yet

by The Big E on December 29, 2009

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) had quite a year.  In 2009, she stepped even further to the forefront of the conservative movement.  She appeared frequently on Fox News and right wing radio and often headlined conservative rallies.  She was nominated for Lie of the Year and featured on Keith Olbermann’s World’s Worst Person segment 10 times.  The only people Olbermann featured more frequently were nationally-known figures like Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, Lou Dobbs and Bill O’Reilly.

While there were many candidates for her most astounding moment, the jaw dropper was her behavior at a anti-healthcare reform rally in Colorado.  She thought nobody would be paying attention as she was so far from DC and her home district.

“This cannot pass,” the Minnesota Republican told a crowd at a Denver gathering sponsored by the Independence Institute. “What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn’t pass.”

So join me at the intersection of Bizarro Blvd and False Witness Lane for an in-depth review of 2009 for Michele Bachmann.
2009 was always going to be a very scary year for Bachmann.  There were so many things to fear and also to hope for.  President Obama and Democratic control of national politics were sure to be signs of the impending End Times and, while this is good for evangelical christians of her ilk, she rarely missed an opportunity to fearmonger.

And lie.

February 2009
Bachmann is a trend-setter amongst conservatives.  Days after Obama was sworn in (early February), Bachmann learned of nefarious plans to create what Sarah Palin later termed “death panels.”  At the time she called them rationing boards:

The stimulus bill includes a measure to create a “rationing board” for health care, and after the bill becomes law, “your doctor will no longer be able to make your healthcare decisions with you.”

In the time since this warning, no evidence of rationing boards have been found hidden in the federal stimulus package.  Remarkably, the stimulus bill had no healthcare reform provisions and mainly focused on stimulating the economy.

Around Valentine’s Day, she was in a safe place (KLTK radio station) and this little gem slipped out.  It’s not just a lie.  It’s not just a conspiracy theory.  It’s so far from the truth that it’s kinda shocking.  This is one of those clear examples of how divorced from reality she is.  She is talking about how bad taxation in this country has gotten:

“We’re running out of rich people in this country.”

The interesting fact that puts all of this in perspective, we’re less than a month into the Obama Administration and zero tax increases have been passed.  But this simply doesn’t matter in her mindset.

Also, from this same interview, she claimed that the Obama Administration was going to redraw congressional districts.

the “Community-Organizer-in-Chief” is also orchestrating a conspiracy involving the Census Bureau, which the president will use to redraw congressional lines to keep Democrats in power for up to “40 years.” When the host said he was confused, noting that congressional district lines are drawn at the state level, Bachmann said Obama’s non-existent plan is an “anti-constitutional move.”

She apparently doesn’t know that each state does this themselves and that the federal government plays no role in this.

March 2009
On March 23rd, Bachmann described being in Congress as being behind enemy lines.

Bachmann appeared over the weekend on the First Team radio show with John Hinderaker and Brian Ward, speaking about the horrible stuff that the Democrats are doing: “I’m a foreign correspondent on enemy lines and I try to let everyone back here in Minnesota know exactly the nefarious activities that are taking place in Washington.”

On March 27, she appeared on Sean Hannity’s Show on Fox News and
said this:

“Like Thomas Jefferson said, ‘A revolution every now and then is a good thing.’  We are at the point, Sean, of revolution.  And we have to rise up and say, ‘No more.  Not on my watch.  No more.’

I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax.

She’s actively fomenting revolution.  And it’s barely even spring.

March 27th was a busy day of appearances and crazed theorizing.  She also appeared on Glenn Beck’s radio show and informed Americans about her latest conspiracy theory.  She believed there was a nefarious plot by the Obama Administration, in particular Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner and Federal Reserve Chair Ben Bernanke, to get rid of the dollar in favor of a unified global currency.

BACHMANN: As you know, Russia, China, Brazil, India, South Africa, many nations have lined up now and have called for an international global currency, a One World currency and they want to get off of the dollar as the reserve currency.

BECK: Most people don’t understand, Michele, what that means.

BACHMANN: What that means is all of the countries in the world would have a single currency. We would give up the dollar as our currency and we would just go with a One World currency. … If we give up the dollar as our standard, and co-mingle the value of the dollar with the value of coinage in Zimbabwe, that dilutes our money supply. We lose control over our economy. And economic liberty is inextricably entwined with political liberty. Once you lose your economic freedom, you lose your political freedom. And then we are no more, as an exceptional nation, as we always have been. So this is imperative.

Later in the interview, she admitted to Glen that many people think she’s a kook:

BACHMANN: Well, Glenn, I have experienced that throughout my political career, being labeled a kook. It just happened again in a big story in the Minneapolis Star Tribune. But all we have to do is point to the treasury secretary on tape, on camera. This is not Michele Bachmann being a kook. This is our treasury secretary on tape and on camera.

April 2009
In April, she informed America of another heinous plot.  This time her conspiracy theory was about Sen. Ted Kennedy’s Serve America Act.  This bill expands national community service programs for young people.  Bachmann believes believes this bill would create re-education camps:

“It’s under the guise of — quote — volunteerism. But it’s not volunteers at all. It’s paying people to do work on behalf of government,” said the Minnesota Republican. “I believe that there is a very strong chance that we will see that young people will be put into mandatory service. And the real concerns is that there are provisions for what I would call re-education camps for young people, where young people have to go and get trained in a philosophy that the government puts forward and then they have to go to work in some of these politically correct forums.  As a parent, I would have a very, very difficult time seeing my children do this.”

Remember that last sentence.  It comes back to haunt her.


May 2009

May was all about the birds and the bees for Bachmann.  She apparently couldn’t get sex off her mind.

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN), the energizer bunny of crazy, is at it again.  This time it’s another two-fer.  She repeats a prayer she attributes to George Washington that he never said and she talks about orgies in public.

Let’s start with the crazy:  the orgy business.  The Republicans held an anti-tax rally at the State Capitol yesterday.  This in and of itself isn’t unusual.  But Bachmann saying “orgy” and “wad” in connection to each other is a tad bizarre (mad props to Dusty Trice for the vid).

“We have seen an orgy… The government spent its wad.”

This is just a bizarre rant about government, evil, shackles, chains, orgies and taxes.

June 2009
Bachmann even used the 2010 Census as an opportunity to fearmonger and push her latest conspiracy theory.    She believes that the census will be used to round up conservatives and put them in concentration camps.  She explains her fears here and proudly states that she will not participate in the census.

Outspoken Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann says she’s so worried that information from next year’s national census will be abused that she will refuse to fill out anything more than the number of people in her household.

In an interview Wednesday morning with The Washington Times “America’s Morning News,” Mrs. Bachmann, Minnesota Republican, said the questions have become “very intricate, very personal” and she also fears ACORN, the community organizing group that came under fire for its voter registration efforts last year, will be part of the Census Bureau’s door-to-door information collection efforts.

“I know for my family the only question we will be answering is how many people are in our home,” she said. “We won’t be answering any information beyond that, because the Constitution doesn’t require any information beyond that.”

The only problem for her is refusing to answer census questions breaks federal law.

July 2009
As a precursor to the August fun, Bachmann explained why she opposed the public option.  It was cheaper.  Seriously …

“Approximately 114 million Americans are expected to leave private health insurance. Why? Their employers will drop the insurance because the taxpayer-subsidized plan will be 30 to 40 percent cheaper. This action will collapse the private health insurance market, and then the Federal Government will own the health provider game.”

Consistency has never really been her strong suit.

August 2009
This was by far Bachmann’s busiest month for bringing down Teh Crazy.  First, she claimed that we don’t need to reduce greenhouse gases to save the planet because Jesus already did that.

We like to keep track of the, er, intriguing sayings of Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, the Christian Right champion from Minnesota. But this latest is really out there — Bachmann says we don’t need pesky environmentalists like Nancy Pelosi around, because Jesus already saved the planet!

“[Pelosi] is committed to her global warming fanaticism to the point where she has said that she’s just trying to save the planet,” Bachmann told the right-wing news site OneNewsNow. “We all know that someone did that over 2,000 years ago, they saved the planet — we didn’t need Nancy Pelosi to do that.”

Hello?  Didn’t Jesus save peoples’ souls?

The rest of this month is strictly healthcare.  Let’s begin with Michele Bachmann, constitutional scholar.

“It is not within our power as members of Congress, it’s not within the enumerated powers of the Constitution, for us to design and create a national takeover of health care. Nor is it within our ability to be able to delegate that responsibility to the executive.”

Um … not so fast there Prof. Bachmann.  Here’s what the constitution actually says:

Section 8. The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes, duties, imposts and excises, to pay the debts and provide for the common defense and general welfare of the United States.

Once again on Sean Hannity’s Show on Fox News, she said on August 18th:

“That’s why people need to continue to go to the town halls, continue to melt the phone lines of their liberal members of Congress,” said Bachmann, “and let them know, under no certain circumstances will I give the government control over my body and my health care decisions.”

Her anti-reform hysteria has made her pro-choice?  Weird, huh?

She even conflated healthcare reform with the government playing Russian Roulette.

“This is though the government has a pistol and they put a bullet in every chamber and they want you to play a game of Russian Roulette. And that’s what it is.”

While August was a busy month for teabaggers like Bachmann to spout off about healthcare reform, an interesting tidbit hit the news, her son signed up for the “indoctrination” at the “re-education camps” that I mentioned earlier.

The irony of all this is just scrumptious.  Her son, Harrison, has joined AmeriCorps.  Harrison joined Teach for America which is a part of AmeriCorps.  Apparently, he joined before his Mom’s rant.  Thanksgiving is going to be a bit awkward at the Bachmann household this fall, don’t you think?

September 2009
She declares that the Democratic attempt to pass healthcare reform is gangster government.

October 2009
In October we learned why Bachmann is able to appear on radio and TV as well as attend so many rallies so frequently:

According to the Washington Post rankings Michele Bachmann is one of the top 10 members of congress missing votes!!! Don’t believe me? Here it is.


Bachmann has missed 105 of the last 666 votes! That means she’s missing a shameful 1 out of every 6 votes!!!

A reader reminded me about his favorite conspiracy theory.)

She appeared on the House floor to comment on the healthcare reform bill.  She claimed that it woud fund abortions and that parents wouldn’t even know about it.  She claimed that parents wouldn’t be allowed to be involved in their kids’ healthcare decisions.

“What does that mean?” Bachmann said. “It means that parents will never know what kind of counsel and treatment that their children are receiving. As a matter of fact, the bill goes on to say what’s going to go on – comprehensive primary health services, physicals, treatment of minor acute medical conditions, referrals to follow-up for specialty care.”

“Is that abortion?” Bachmann continued. “Does that mean that someone’s 13-year old daughter could walk into a sex clinic, have a pregnancy test done, be taken away to the local Planned Parenthood abortion clinic, have their abortion, be back, and go home on the school bus that night? Mom and dad are never the wiser. They don’t know any different.”

November 2009
Healthcare reform hadn’t passed, yet, so Bachmann had more to say about it:

U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann told Sean Hannity on his Fox News Channel show last month that the House health care bill prohibits people from buying private health insurance after a certain date.

(But according to Politifact:)

“Bachmann isn’t just guilty of misinterpreting the language from one page of the bill. She’s taken that misinterpretation to a ridiculous extreme — the claim that no private insurance could be sold after a certain date…That ignores the central tenet of a plan that’s been discussed for months — that the plan would rely on a marketplace of private insurance.”

Bachmann admits that she hasn’t exactly said things in the best way:

Q: A lot has been made of some of your statements – the “gangster government” comment, the “anti-American” comment. Is there anything you’ve said that you regret?

A: Oh, gosh, absolutely. Of course, I wish I could be more artful in the way that I say things.

What’s interesting is that she doesn’t admit that these comments are wrong, that she lies frequently … just that she’s not very good at expressing herself.

December 2009
She wants to say something about how deplorable bailing out the banks was.  It didn’t quite come out right.  She gets an honorable mention because of the sheer stupidity:

“The federal government now owns or controls over 30% of the private economy.  Just over a year ago, you couldn’t say that.  Just over a year ago 100% of the private economy was private.  Today, 30% is owned by the government”

Bachmann also has opinions on the trendy topics of the day. Here’s her statement about trying 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed in NYC:

“The decision to try Khalid Sheikh Mohammed in New York City and give him all the benefits and perks reserved for American citizens is a slap in the face of the 9/11 victim’s families, the American people, and the men and women who risk their lives to defend our liberties each and every day.”

Let’s examine her statement for just a moment. Doesn’t America stand for justice and liberty for all? Don’t we give even the worst criminals their day in court?

I think that Glenn Greenwald says it best:

An open criminal trial under our standard system of justice, accompanied by basic precepts of due process, is exactly the just and smart means for punishing those responsible for terrorist attacks.  It announces to the world, including the Muslim world, that we have enough faith in our rules of justice to apply them equally to everyone, including to Muslim radicals accused of one of the worst crimes in American history. Numerous family members of the 9/11 victims have long argued that real trials for the accused perpetrators are vital to providing real justice for what was done … and holding the trial in New York, the place where 3,000 Americans died, provides particularly compelling symbolism.  So this component of the Obama administration’s decision, standing alone, is praiseworthy indeed.

Finally, she ended the year by trying to compare her fellow teabaggers efforts to oppose healthcare to the “Charge of the Light Brigade” earning herself another honorable mention on World’s Worst Person.

I’m guessing she has no idea what the Charge of the Light Brigade was.

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